You know how people say most people meet the person they’re going to marry while they’re in college? I think this next story proves that not everyone you meet in college will be that one true love you’re looking for, but rather the one that fools you into thinking so. I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but this guy had me so sure of our future together. I wanted to marry him. I wanted to have his kids. I knew he was completely wrong for me, yet; somehow, I had convinced myself that I should stay with him despite my subconscious telling me to leave. I’m of course talking about that oh so strong man that many of my friends know as the very infamous ex-fiancé.
Now before he possibly reads this and gets mad at what I just said, it’s not that I didn’t care about him. Don’t get it twisted. I loved him very much. I did some things for him that I would never do for another soul. I let him get away with the things that I now would never let any other man do. I let him do these things because of the fact that I did very much enjoy my time with him. Sometimes he made me feel good about myself. Sometimes he made me want to hurt him. Sometimes we just plain old had fun. In fact, I’m not trying to offend anyone, but honestly, I had the most fun with him that I’ve ever had in all the years I’ve been living. I don’t think anyone will ever be able to top some of the things we did because we were just being our silly old selves. However, fun isn’t everything.
Along with all of this fun I had with my ex, there came a lot of drama, and most of it was centered around his ex-girlfriend who also happened to be his best friend. This girl had prank called my phone, vandalized my apartment door, sent my threatening texts, email, and instant messages, and even threatened me in front of the ENTIRE class including the T.V. Needless to say, she wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box. I had finally gotten fed up with all of the crap she was putting me through. Now before I continue, let me give you a little bit of background info. This girl was about 15 times my size and 75 billion times as ghetto as the most ghetto person you could think of. She had no problem confronting me, or rather, trying to trap me in the halls at school. However, I do not fight fair. I had been to the school counselor several times, telling her that I dreamt about possibly ending this girl’s life. I was terrified that if she ever put her hands on me, I would do something I would completely regret. I did not want to be kicked out of school. I did the next best thing I could think of. Since I worked in the administration building and worked under the dean and chancellor, I went to them, along with the head of police services, and told them of the situation. I got her kicked out of school.
No, don’t clap just yet. While I hoped that she was gone from my life forever, it turns out that some people just aren’t that easy to get rid of. He loved her. He told me he was in love with me, but even on this very day, I could not lie to your face and tell you that he ONLY loved me. I honestly believe that he was torn. He was torn between what was right and what…well, what he must have truly wanted. I gave him his choice. I gave him a very clear ultimatum. He told me he wanted to marry me. I very much thought I wanted the same. I just wasn’t interested in marrying someone who was willing to let another woman treat his future wife that way. I told him if she didn’t go, then I had to. Now I’m not saying we didn’t have a lot of other drama between us, because believe me, we did. I wasn’t ready to commit, but he wasn’t ready to let her go.
It wasn’t even until years later that I realized maybe I was never even in love with him. Maybe I was in love with the way he made me feel…