Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Lovers and friends

At what point should a person stop in order to avoid crossing the line with their best friend?

My best friend and I (whose identity I will keep anonymous although most already know his name) have been friends for about thirteen years, eleven of those years I have spent (on and off of course) wondering if he would ever feel the same way about me that I have felt about him. Many of those years I have also spent sharing some of my “firsts” with him. In fact many of the things I have done and still do with him are things I would never even consider doing with any other man. I trust him and I feel safe and comfortable with him. Over the years these feelings have been slowly progressing. Over the past two years I began realizing that I was falling for him (and falling hard!). I friendship was already on the rocks. With the large amount of distance between us (me in PA and him in NJ), things had slowly been getting complicated. Whenever he would come in town I was looking forward to spending any amount of time with him. For him, this time always meant sex. Because I really cared about him, I continued to have sex with him whenever he wanted. I knew that my feelings were growing and finally decided to end it with him. I cut him out of my life COMPLETELY. And I never looked back. Recently I thought about him and decided to contact him. We began talking again but of course it immediately became about sex. I simply wanted him back in my life and knew that would be the easiest way, so I went along with it. As soon as it occurred, I realized those feelings were resurfacing. It was too late. I couldn’t just ignore them or tell him to leave me alone once again. I finally had the courage to tell him how I felt. I have to admit I have felt much better ever since I’ve done it. In fact, our friendship seems to be getting better, slowly but surely. I even decided to move back home and this seems to be making it as though our friendship will somewhat go back to the way it used to be.

Although our friendship seems to be working out now, I want to pose this question: Is it crazy to think that anything else could ever come from this 13 years friendlationship? Love is not something we can choose. We cannot force ourselves to love or not love a person. It is something that happens naturally. How many people are truly best friends with their life partner before beginning a relationship with them?



One thing that both men and women should realize when dating, is that sharing a bit of too much information can completely destroy any possibility of a further relationship with a person.

Case and point:

Two weeks ago, I was walking out of the doctor’s office feeling very crappy, when I saw a guy walking out of the apartment complex. I could tell from the moment I saw him that he would probably try to hit on me. I decided to step back and pretend to make a phone call while I waited for him to walk away. As I stood there I glanced over my glasses and saw him cross the street. He continued walking down the street, but not without glancing back at me and staring. I stayed exactly where I was and noticed him stop walking. He yelled out to me “Hey Shorty!” That was his first mistake. My name is not “shorty” and I do not respond to names other than my own. I, of course, did not respond and pretended not to hear him anyway. He came up to me like an idiot, and decided to proceed into conversation. The first thing out of his mouth was “My name is Jaquese.” That was strike number two. I told him my name anyway (because he looked quite sketchy) and pretended as if nothing was wrong. He asked me if I was taking class. I told him I had graduated. He asked my major and I responded. I then asked him what year he was in. He told me “Oh, I dropped out.” That was strike number three. I am not interested in someone who is not on my education level or even remotely near it. I then told him I needed to be on my way because I had errands to run downtown. “Oh, I’m going downtown too.” ‘What are you going downtown for?’ “I need to drop off money to my baby mama.” That was strike number four and I wondered why he was still talking to me. You’d probably assume the convo ended after that, however, he continued. I looked at his tattoos and commented on how interesting they were. He said “Oh yeah I have this one too,” and pointed at his right arm. “This one is fake though.” I asked why. His response was “My boy gave this to me while I was in prison.” Strike number five. Did I happen to mention he told me all of this within ten minutes of speaking?

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I mean by sharing way too much information. While I do believe that when trying to create a relationship with someone, you must be truthful and very open about the things in your past and present, I believe there should be some type of element of surprise. AND some things should just be kept private within the first few dates with someone new.


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Translate this if you will

This is a song by Monica Mancini-Senza Fine

Senza fine
Tu trascini la nostra vita
Senza un attimo di respiro
Per sognare
Per potere ricordare
Cio che abbiamo gia vissuto

Senza fine
Tu sei un attimo senza fine
Non hai ieri
Non hai domani
Tutto e ormai nelle tue mani
Mani grandi
Mani senza fine

Non m'importa della luna
Non m'importa delle stelle
Tu per me sei luna e stelle
Tu per me sei sole e cielo
Tu per me sei tutto quanto
Tutto quanto io voglio avere

Senza fine
La, la, la, la
Senza fine

I will add more info about the song in order to give proper "citation" lol so you guys know where to look it up because it is a great song and very addicting!