Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Marriage? Uh...Nah...

The more time I spend talking to my family members, the more they make it obvious that I am getting at that age where I will soon need to settle down. I keep trying to delay that whole process, but the truth is, at my age A LOT of women begin settling down or at least start the process of looking for a husband. I mean, yeah I'd be the perfect housewife and what not, but umm...I'm just not ready for that yet. I'm still young. I want to be able to have fun. I'm not necessarily looking to whore around with every man I meet, but I definitely feel as though I should still have that option...at least for another year...Maybe I'll end up in a relationship and see where that goes. If not, I'm not worried about it at the moment.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun


Moving On....

One of my besties constantly tells me that I need to slow down and that I be moving to fast. Truthfully, it's not that I'm moving too fast. People just don't realize that I'm the kind of person who really doesn't put up with anyone's BS. As soon as I smell it coming, I like to dip out. I'd rather not be the girl known for staying around with a guy who isn't going to give me what I want or need at the time...just like a guy. Guys are real quick to leave a girl when they can't get what they want, so why can't I do the same?

For example, when I was with the last guy, I knew FOR SURE that things weren't headed in the direction I would have liked. Actually, I wasn't sure what direction I wanted them to head in, so I left before I could get hurt. Otherwise, he did nothing to me. We had some good times, but some things just aren't meant to work out the way we want. I'm sure I still care about him, because he was a really cool person during that time, but I no longer have those feelings for him. If I had stayed around, I'd still have those feelings and I'd probably be bitter as hell over a lousy no good person. By leaving when I did, I can still see him as that really chill person...minus the habits he's picked up in the last few months...

Sometimes...it's just best if we move on.


Sunday, August 28, 2011

Dirty Texts

These are just some of the ridiculous text messages I've received from guys over time.

"I want you to sit on my face."
"You know I would love that with my tongue in your ass and fingers in your pussy."

"So umm do we have to use condoms?"

"Come sit on daddy's dick."

"You should tell your homegirl to come over for a threesome."

"How sloppy are your BJs?"

(Insert dick photo)

"I was thinking about you."
Oh really? What were you thinking about?
"I just wanna suck on them tittys so bad."

"I know u not bein pleased."
"U should jus let me come over and please that pussy."

"You should come over...I wanna show you something."
Is it edible?
"No but you can play with it and it'll play with you."
Eh that's alright. I don't think I'd enjoy it.
"Come get this dick."

I wish I could go back through ALL of my texts and show you some of the hilarious things I've received. Truth is, I've seen some crazy texts before too, but like damn!


Celibate...not selling a bit.

So....after some crazy events in my life, I decided it was time for me to be celibate. I was kind of getting bored with sex in the first place. No one could really please me, so I figured it would be better off this way. When I told everyone about my decision they all laughed and said I'd make it til the weekend. I thought that was hilarious since I already wasn't having sex that often anyway...but whatever. I told them I was going to do it anyway, and I did. Truth is, it wasn't very hard at all. I was busy with work most of the time and any spare time I did have, I spent sleeping. I guess it also helped that I was emotionally involved with someone at the time too. I didn't want anyone other than him.

The first two weeks of the celibacy were quite easy. I kept busy. For some reason the third week seemed to be the hardest. I didn't necessarily feel as though I was going to do anything. I just kept wondering why I wasn't doing it. After that week passed it all got much easier. In fact, I started to enjoy being celibate. Showing my celibacy ring to guys is the EASIEST way to weed out the ones who only care about getting their dick wet....However, it was also the fastest way to meet guys who were determined to make me break that vow. Little did they know, I didn't care enough to break it.

When it came down to it, I finally decided to move on from that guy I was stuck on, but I still wanted to be celibate unless it was with someone I truly wanted to do that with. I knew who that person was, but things never seemed to work out....so I kept to my vow until I could meet with him.

Truth is, holding out makes it ten times better....


I gave you my number, that means we can fuck!

This was the response that I got from a guy I was talking to after he saw me post something about me being celibate.

Tyre: That's cool. That's a little depressing but cool.

Me: What's depressing?

Tyre: No sex
Just kidding, you tend to see who people for who they really are, that and their true intentions.

Me: True

Tyre: Its cool though, that just means you have a lot of pent up sexual aggression that you need to release.

Me: I really do though lol
I don't know when I'll actually do that though.

Tyre: Right....

Me: I need someone to make me want it....BAD lol.

Tyre: How would one go about doing this?

Me: That's not something I tell someone lol. It'll just happen.

Tyre: Ok...I am a little confused, turned off and upset right now. When was I going to be notified of any of this? Besides that, what was with all that sex talk if it wasn't a rsal guarentee that we were going to be getting into some things. I was under the impression that you found me attractive and cool enough to get down with.

Me: Wow you're a little intense for no reason and all about gettin your dick wet at the moment. You just got my number. I'm not THAT easy. I don't know what girls you mess with that be like oh ok let's fuck now after a couple of days but that's pretty trife. You don't even know anything about me and I'm not tryna fuck no dude I barely know. That ain't me. And who does around saying "this is how you get in my pants"? That's something you find out on your own.

Tyre: Ok, your absolutly right.

Me: You're* absolutely*

Tyre: Sorry, Im not really in the mood for proper grammar...aside from that it has nothing to do with getting my dick wet because U can get that from someone else if it was really tht serious I am just a little confused as to why you would bother with this heavy ass flirting knowing that you were going to play hard to get.

Me: I didn't realize being celibate before I even spoke to you was considered playing hard to get. I'm pretty sure that's me doing something I feel is right for me. I didn't realize telling you to figure out how to get with is considered playing hard to get. I guess I missed the memo that all women want to tell a guy what to do to get close to them, rather than enjoy the experience of learning someone...
What woman you know says "this is how you make me want your dick?"
"This is what I like" is completely different than "this is how you make me want it"

Tyre: You being celibate is honorable but it makes no sense to talk a good deal about sex and how you like it and what you would do if you met the right guy all to basically say well its a toss up. I never said you being celibate was you playing hard to get, its just a little confusing considering the conversations that we've had up until now. Considering what you've told me I honestly thought I had sex guarenteed because of how sexually charged our conversations were but now Im hearing that your celibate but your not really. Your an intelligent girl so you know what beiong celibate means....so in all actuality your not celibate your just waiting to find the right dude to fuck....which for all intensive purpose means that your playing hard to get. This whole situation would be different if you were pursuing me and you found out I was doing the same thing you are, I would immediately be looked at as an asshole and a player. This type of shit needs to stop. I see no point in continuing to converse about this because we're getting nowhere. It was nice talking to you but I can't be associated with you anymore due to our differences in opinion and thought.




And people, I'm an honest person. We all know I like to talk about sex. That's just who I am. When he asked me questions, I obviously answered him. Why not? I'm not gonna act like I'm an innocent person. Just because I wear a celibacy ring does not mean I was never or am not currently interested in sex. Nor does that ring mean that I've never tried things or wouldn't be interested in doing so. If you ask me what my favorite position is, I will tell you. I am not telling you because I want you to try it with me. I'm simply telling you because you asked me a question and I'm not rude enough to withhold an answer.

AND DID THIS DUDE REAAAALLLLY JUST SAY HE THOUGHT HE WAS GUARANTEED SEX? SERIOUSLY? NO...SERIOUSLY? I didn't realize me giving you my number meant we should have sex...after four days of speaking...wtf?

This type of guy is the reason why I decided to be celibate. Thank you Tyre for opening my eyes to the stupidity of many men out there. I hope you have a nice life!


Sunday, August 21, 2011

Still I love you....

I feel you, hear you, smell you Don’t…touch me, come near me Rip my hair out, watch me cry, see me grip this railing Push me over Hear me scream

I, I love you I hate you

I feel you in my sleep You’re stuck in my mind

I hide You find me Drag me through halls

Hit me Harder

Touch me I lay there Legs forced open Unprotected Ripped from the insides

Still I love Still I love all of you

Beat me Tell me you’re sorry It’ll never happen again Repeat Beat me Tell me you’re sorry It’ll never happen again Repeat Repeat Repeat Repeat Heart beats…slow


I love you

~Felicity Selby~

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Dirty Little Secret

The truth is I got mad when I found out you assumed I was telling people about us. I told you straght up I would be discreet about things between us. When you came at me asking "why" I was telling people things about us, rather than "if" I was, I was infuriated. Then I sat down and thought about it for a while. I'm no longer upset about that. I'm upset that my family and friends were right this entire time. Why would you want to be with someone who's hiding you from his family and friends because he's so worried about what they have to say? Why are you hiding me? They know my history and either way they would have something to say about us. It's been a month now. I mean, come on now. I bet when they confronted you about it you were real quick to deny, deny, deny. That's really disappointing if you denied it. More than anything else, I'm disappointed with myself because I saw it happening. No love lost at all, though. I just don't want to be your secret. If you like me, then there's no reason to hide it.