Sunday, January 9, 2011


One of the first things I want to discuss is the presence of other relationships. Sexual, or intimate, relationships are not the only interactions in our lives that tend to stress us out. I believe that outside of familiar relationships, friendships are a great way to evaluate the way in which you will act while in an intimate relationship. That being said, there are a few things that really bother me that some people do.

I believe that many people tend to value their temporary friendships more than the friendships they’ll have for life. For the sake of avoiding any unnecessary drama, I am not going to give specifics because guilty people always assume you’re talking about them, even when you are not.

Anyway, I have noticed that people will get into situations such as college or work, and they’ll forget about the friends that are “back home.” As we go through life, we come across many different kinds of people. We meet friends that we don’t want to live without. We meet lovers that change our lives. We also meet people that are simply meant to provide support for a short amount of time. When we meet all of these people, we must decipher what their purpose is in our life. We have to decide whether a person is simply a person to go out with, or a friend for life.

When we meet these people that we believe are our friends for life, we must be careful to put them before other friends. We must make sure we take care of our friendships as if these people were our own family members. I say this because sometimes you can lose one of your best friends to the need for temporary friends, especially if you’ve been distracted by something such as four years away at college.

With this being said though, I have to tell you the truth. You can only reach out to people but so much before you start to believe that maybe you made the wrong decision in considering them to be a friend for life. If you have been reaching out to them for months and they don’t seem to be changing, then you have no choice but to think maybe they weren’t interested in keeping you as a friend. While reaching out to people, you must seriously consider whether you actually believed them to be a good friend. For instance, I have a friend of mine that I have tried messaging several times a month whether it be on the phone, on Facebook, or even on Twitter. However, he has chosen not to respond to many of my messages. In fact, when I do receive any contact from him, it is usually after I have given up trying to contact him. However, I am not offended by this because I never thought of him as someone that would be a friend for life. I understood right away that he would simply be a temporary friend, or a person to go out with. On the other hand though, I do have a friend that I used to send text messages to fairly often. She would not respond, and if she ever did, it would be several days later. Now, because of this, I have chosen to give up on reaching out to her. This could be a problem on both of our parts because I definitely assumed she was a friend for life. I believe that she has been distracted by other things in her life and forgotten who her friends are. I believe that I am also guilty of being stuck in my own relationship. However, I have at least tried, and apparently failed to keep her as a close friend. In these situations, you have to decide whether you are ready to be the bigger person and forgive your “friend” for losing touch of your friendship. Because I do believe she is a friend for life, I am open to salvaging our friendship. Whether or not we will be as close as we were before, now that’s a different story.

I have been guilty of putting too much effort on my temporary friendships. What I have learned from doing this is that it can be very easy to feel as though you’re very much comforted and loved and losing it all at the same time. However, if you keep your b.f.f.l. by you at all times, you’ll never feel alone.



  1. I may be high as fuck but this is a good read

  2. I agree with you, but one thing you must understand is that people change. Whenever I go back home and I try and reconnect with my friends, most of them act different. Those people are not the same people I knew back in high school and such. Those people have moved on with their lives. I've made several efforts to contact and chill with some of them but they would ignore my messages on facebook and texts. I've learned to accept that and move on. Those who will be there for you will be there. True friends are hard to come by.

    A lot of my friends (especially at psu) only talk to me when school is in session. A lot of people only like to hit me up when they need something and like a fool (sometimes) I allow them to. There are friends and there are "friends". A "friend" only hits you up when they need something, only wants to hang with you at school, and only talks to you on the internet. A friend is someone who supports you and will stick with you to the end no matter what. Good article, because I have been thinking about the same thing.

  3. I simply don't like when people put their "college friends" before the people that THEY consider to be their friends for life. That's what I was trying to get at. I'm hinting at stuff without saying too many details haha. Thanks love :)