Monday, August 16, 2010

Do You Qualify?

So, every woman has certain qualities that she looks for in a potential mate. Right now I would like to discuss hose which do not make up the physical aspects…Ok, maybe there will be SOME physical qualities listed.
Here’s my list:

1)Since I agreed to some physical, I would like to list my first request as “a tall man.” I’m not asking for a giant. However, I am only five feet tall. If you do not make me stand on my tippy toes to kiss you, then we have a slight problem.

2)My second request is just as important as the first. You may laugh, but this is VERY serious. I need a guy who loves Michael Jackson as much as I do. Alright, well I realize it is kind of hard to love Michael Jackson as much as I do because I am quite a fan. I will however say that my guy must AT LEAST be comfortable with the fact that I often like to dance naked around the house to a great MJ song. Sometimes I wear a bra and panties, but I am assuming that would not be the problem. My man should be comfortable with these things because my love for MJ is eternal. It will NEVER die. You know one crush that a girl never gets over, MJ is much more than that to me! (Oh and I’m listening to him right now.)

3)While I am a very confident and sometimes slightly cocky person, I need my man to be just as confident in me as I am. Yes, he must be confident in himself, but he must be able to ensure me of just how good of a person I am. If I am ever feeling insecure, he must be able to snap me back into my unorthodoxly confident self.

4)Since I am a very confident person, I need a guy who is comfortable with just how confident I am. I do not TRY to be cocky. I am just very sure of myself and along with this confidence comes a bit of independence. Do not be scared of my independence. It does not mean I could necessarily live my life without you, or rather that I would WANT to. It does however mean that I know how to and am not scared to do so if you get out of line.

5)Now, while I do not NEED you to buy things for me, I do like to be spoiled. I am used to getting most things that I want. I am a bit of a daddy’s girl. If you cannot get me the things my dad can, then I guess you need to step aside. What most men do not understand about me is that the things I want most are not very difficult to get with small amounts of money. I am not the type of girl who wants diamonds, diamonds, diamonds. I am most easily pleased when my guy takes me out for a nice dinner or even cooks for me. That is the thing I want the most: food. If you can provide me with food, I will be perfectly happy for the rest of my life. If you want to surprise me with other gifts I like white roses, (they’re my favorite), then feel free. If you want to get me jewelry, I prefer necklaces because it gives me something to touch if ever I feel uncomfortable.

What I listed above are my top five qualities that I look for in a man. Now I’m going to list what I believe are my top five qualities that I can offer a guy. Watch out though. Most of these qualities show how I would be a great wife!

1)I am a great cook. I like to try new things fairly often. One of the first things I want to do when I move into an apartment with my guy is fill the refrigerator with different foods, all of which I plan to cook myself. I do not want anyone else cooking food in my place unless they are in my family. I love to cook huge meals because I like to see the smiles on people’s faces when they eat my food. Yes, I am that good. If you like to eat like I do, then you’ll be happy with me.

2)I love to clean. I will do the laundry, clean the bathroom, wash the dishes and everything else needed in the house. I have slight OCD. Deal with it.

3)I’m a down ass chick. I would do just about anything for my man especially if he treats me right. I am a very loving person. I treat my man like a king. If you need me to help you with anything, believe me I am there for you. I’m the kind of girl that guys do not let go, simply because I love making him happy.

4)You can be honest with me. I love listening to people’s opinions when it comes to different things. I also love being that person you can come to and expect honesty back. I hate to lie to people. Most people think this is a problem. I believe this is my greatest quality because I could never lie to you about something that truly matters.

5)I am a freak. I will try almost anything in the bedroom, especially for that really special someone. I want to make sure that you are equally as pleasured as I am. You want to try something new? Ask me.

Of course there are way more qualities that I could list about my perfect guy, but I do not want to bore you. Plus, if you think you could be my perfect guy you should probably ask me when you see me anyway.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

My Apology

So, instead of pestering him with constant texts and messages on Facebook I figured I would simply post this apology in my blog for all to see. This way he knows that I truly am sorry and I would admit to the (cyber) world that I was wrong for what I did. Well, that’s if he even sees that I posted this…

Dear _____,
I am so sorry for the way things went between us. Believe me that it was never in my intentions to hurt you in any way, shape, or form. In fact, I loved you so much that I could never imagine myself hurting you in this way. I now understand though why you were, and maybe still are upset with me. I understand why you chose to completely remove me from your life instead of trying to fix things yet again. However, I cannot go back in time and change what I have done. All I can do is apologize and show you that I am truly sorry.

I know that saying “sorry” doesn’t necessarily mean much but I can say something else. I think I must have been taking everything you did for granted. You were a great friend to me and you have never done anything wrong to me. Sometimes I even wondered how you were able to put up with me. I guess that’s true love right there.
I honestly do not apologize for things because I don’t regret most of what I do or say. I did however treat you wrong. I’m not asking you to still be in love with me. I’m simply asking if you can see that I’m sorry and I still care for you very much…Love, D


Best Friends and Best Friends Only

Since I already wrote two blogs about my situation with my best friend and our love affair, I figured I should actually discuss the main issue: can straight girls and straight guys ever truly be friends without some kind of romantic or sexual attraction?

I am going to just say that FOR ME it does not work. For some reason I always tend to have friendships in which either my straight guy friends have some type of sexual attraction to me or vice versa. I am not going to toot my own horn and say that I’m so sexy that the men just come running to me. I am quite sexy; however, this is not why they find themselves attracted to me. I believe that for me, what tends to happen is that I am a very open and honest person and most men find that they can’t find a woman like that nowadays. Most men probably assume that they can’t be their normal disgusting manly selves around women because they assume we’re all little dainty, delicate, precious things. I also put myself out there as a person who is willing to learn different things. I love exploring different aspects of life. If I had never been camping and one of my guy friends invited me to go I would suck up my girly girl attitude and hop in a tent. Some girls would turn down an opportunity to go out into the wilderness with a guy who is interested in them. I am completely open to trying this.

Now when it comes to me being interested in my male friends…HA! There is a simple explanation for that actually: I find that I tend to enjoy my relationship more with a person that I have been good friends with for a large amount of time. After being close friends with someone for a considerable amount of time, I start to wonder if maybe there is more to our friendship. Granted, this doesn’t happen with all of my guy friends. That would just be ridiculous. The close guy friends I had that I developed feelings for were those that treated me best. My boyfriends usually didn’t do the things for me that my best guy friends did. (Boyfriends, step up your game!)
Anyway, what I’m thinking is that some of these things that happen often get misconstrued as having developed feelings for a person or some kind of attraction. I’m not saying that the feelings aren’t real. I am simply saying that a close personal relationship with someone of the opposite sex often confuses the heart…interpreting “love” as being “in love” with a person.

I care for all of my best guy friends and love them very much, but I am NOT in love with them!


Sometimes You Just Have to Move on

I could never say that I would stop loving you, simply because I could never tell that lie.

We’ve been through a lot of stuff over the years. We’ve been friends longer than most of the people I am even close to now. You know me better than most people and I believe that is what has made me vulnerable to you. That being said, I need to confess some things. You already know that I care for you, that I’m in love with you, and that I’d do anything for you. However, I believe that it is time for me to move on. I’ve stayed around for some time, hoping that you’d love me the way that I love you. I don’t think your feelings will ever be as strong as mine.
I’m a great friend. I’m a great girlfriend. I’m an even better wifey. And I think the problem is I was trying to give you all of those things at one time. Not only that, but I was giving them to you when you weren’t quite interested in them or at least that’s what I’m starting to believe. It is now time for me to take all of my good qualities and show them to someone who will appreciate them.
I never expected to have you as my boyfriend. What I did hope to get from you was some kind of passion and respect. I feel as though you have not given much of either.

….This is what I started writing a week or so ago and now I realize I don’t even care anymore. After seeing him a couple nights ago, I realized just how I feel about him. Yes, I might still love him and yes, I really do care about him, but I don’t want him anymore in that way. I have soooo many options out there and most of them would probably treat me better than he has over the years. It has definitely taken me a long ass time to realize this and actually look for something better, but I’m finally doing it. I’m finally happy and content with this decision. I’ve gone back and forth on this for a few months now, but this time I’m ready to stick to the plan.

~Sometimes you just have to move on~