b.f.f.l.

One of the first things I want to discuss is the presence of other relationships. Sexual, or intimate, relationships are not the only interactions in our lives that tend to stress us out. I believe that outside of familiar relationships, friendships are a great way to evaluate the way in which you will act while in an intimate relationship. That being said, there are a few things that really bother me that some people do.

I believe that many people tend to value their temporary friendships more than the friendships they’ll have for life. For the sake of avoiding any unnecessary drama, I am not going to give specifics because guilty people always assume you’re talking about them, even when you are not.

Anyway, I have noticed that people will get into situations such as college or work, and they’ll forget about the friends that are “back home.” As we go through life, we come across many different kinds of people. We meet friends that we don’t want to live without. We meet lovers that change our lives. We also meet people that are simply meant to provide support for a short amount of time. When we meet all of these people, we must decipher what their purpose is in our life. We have to decide whether a person is simply a person to go out with, or a friend for life.

When we meet these people that we believe are our friends for life, we must be careful to put them before other friends. We must make sure we take care of our friendships as if these people were our own family members. I say this because sometimes you can lose one of your best friends to the need for temporary friends, especially if you’ve been distracted by something such as four years away at college.

With this being said though, I have to tell you the truth. You can only reach out to people but so much before you start to believe that maybe you made the wrong decision in considering them to be a friend for life. If you have been reaching out to them for months and they don’t seem to be changing, then you have no choice but to think maybe they weren’t interested in keeping you as a friend. While reaching out to people, you must seriously consider whether you actually believed them to be a good friend. For instance, I have a friend of mine that I have tried messaging several times a month whether it be on the phone, on Facebook, or even on Twitter. However, he has chosen not to respond to many of my messages. In fact, when I do receive any contact from him, it is usually after I have given up trying to contact him. However, I am not offended by this because I never thought of him as someone that would be a friend for life. I understood right away that he would simply be a temporary friend, or a person to go out with. On the other hand though, I do have a friend that I used to send text messages to fairly often. She would not respond, and if she ever did, it would be several days later. Now, because of this, I have chosen to give up on reaching out to her. This could be a problem on both of our parts because I definitely assumed she was a friend for life. I believe that she has been distracted by other things in her life and forgotten who her friends are. I believe that I am also guilty of being stuck in my own relationship. However, I have at least tried, and apparently failed to keep her as a close friend. In these situations, you have to decide whether you are ready to be the bigger person and forgive your “friend” for losing touch of your friendship. Because I do believe she is a friend for life, I am open to salvaging our friendship. Whether or not we will be as close as we were before, now that’s a different story.

I have been guilty of putting too much effort on my temporary friendships. What I have learned from doing this is that it can be very easy to feel as though you’re very much comforted and loved and losing it all at the same time. However, if you keep your b.f.f.l. by you at all times, you’ll never feel alone.

~CityLimit$~

Disclaimer...

For a few posts, I am going to take a quick break from the chronicles of my love life. I want to discuss a few things that really bother me. This is just a quick disclaimer about the things I am going to write. I have a few things that I want to make everyone think about for a little while. I already know that in writing these things, people are going to assume that I am writing about them or trying to hint at some of the things they are doing. I'm honestly not writing these things to make people feel bad. I am writing these things however, to expose other people to the things that are happening and could possibly happen to them. That is, after all, the entire point of me keeping this blog. The things that I am going to write in the upcoming blog entries aren't just about sex or love. I actually want to talk about some of the other things that come along with our "intimate" relationships. With that in mind, I hope that you all enjoy what I write and don't take offense, but rather, help others re-evaluate the things they are doing in their life.

...I don't write to offend....but I do write to expose the truth...

~CityLimit$~

Easier to Run...

After my abusive and not so loving high school relationship, I met a guy who was the complete opposite of the last. He was the most perfect guy I thought I’d ever meet. He was tall, white, and a jock. He was the quiet guy who kind of sat in the corner and ignored everyone else around him in class. I always made sure to sit next to him and talk as much as possible. Of course, he just ignored me because I was way too loud for him. However, being the outgoing and persistent person I am, I decided that I was still going to pursue him. In fact, I told his friends that he was my next mission and I would eventually get him. Now, let me tell you something about myself, when I truly want something, I get it. It didn’t take me very long to get him interested in me either. I was there for him no matter what the situation was. I helped him with classes. I even stood by his side during the loss of a close family member. I did all of these things because I knew there was something special about him.

Eventually we began a very serious relationship in which we both found ourselves very happy. Well, at that time at least. I’m not going to lie, we had been through a lot of stuff together but we stayed very close throughout every little thing. However, some people just aren’t meant to be together. We broke up before going to college. This was probably a bad thing since we were attending the same college in order to be close together. We continued doing everything together despite the decision to split. We lived in the same apartment building. We saw each other every single day after class. We spent many nights in each other’s rooms, yet there was nothing romantic between us at this point.

I believe this is what caused the most trouble in our friendship. I believe it was entirely my fault that I continued to give him false hope that there was a chance of us being back together again, when I had already made up my mind that nothing else was to come of our relationship. However, I had every reason to try to hold onto him as long as possible. He was a good guy. He treated me the way I finally realized I deserved to be treated. On top of all that, he had been there for me during one of the hardest times in my life. Why would I give up on something that good?

I gave up on him because I realized that I was not in love with him. I cared for him very much. I loved everything about him, but to say I was in love with him would be a lie. He just didn’t have that part of my heart. It is unfair to any person, to be in a “loveless” relationship. I knew he deserved more than I could give him and I didn’t want to keep him waiting around for something he’d never have.

Years later we of course met up and spent many days together. We both thought maybe something would come of the time we had been spending together. However, four years later, you have to remember that people change. I am completely different than the person he fell in love with in high school. He is WAY different than the perfect guy I thought he was in high school. We had completely different goals in life. While the comfortable thing to do would be to date him and see where things went, it was not the right thing to do. While perfect for each other as high school sweethearts, some people are not meant to be together in the future. We just weren’t meant to be and probably never will be.

~CityLimit$~

I like it Rough...

To not only save time, but also to spare you from the boring details of my childhood, I have chosen to omit those “boyfriend” that occurred in my prepubescent years. In other words, I will not be writing about my catholic school boyfriend, my church boyfriends, or anyone that came before high school when I truly knew what it meant to be a girlfriend to someone.

A few days ago I got a fortune cookie. The fortune read: courage comes through suffering. Therefore it is important to start with the relationship that “gave me the most courage.” It just so happens that this same guy was the first guy that “had my heart” while I was in high school.

I met him through a friend, of course, as many of these relationships in our lives often go. However, considering the friend I met him thorough I guess I should have known this wouldn’t be the man of my dreams. This guy had everything I wanted at the time though. I was the good girl looking for the bad boy and he MORE tan fulfilled my need for this rebellious attitude.

This guy was the ultimate bad boy. He was the skater that I watched glide down the street on his board. He barely spoke to me, but I found him intriguing. He smoked weed non-stop, but I still found myself oddly attracted to him. It wasn’t until almost a year later that I even realized just how horrible of a person he truly was. The truth is, he’s done so much damage to me, mentally and emotionally, that I can’t even recall the first time he choked me, or belittled me, or threw me up against a wall. I was young. I was only thirteen when we met. I never knew that what he was doing was wrong. In fact, because I was the food girl, I found his abuse to be attractive. I thought it was something that turned me on.

I know what you’re all thinking: where were my friends and family while this all occurred? My family had very much expressed that they were not happy with the guy I had chosen, however, they were not aware of the details of the situation. My friends also knew very little other than what they had viewed when he was around me. My friends had watched him drag me through the halls. They had even seen me slap him after he had tied to choke me, but because I had always kept a smile on my face they had never known what was truly wrong. Of course they had also expressed their feelings of hatred towards him, but the truth is, no matter whether you’re a friend or family member, you can’t help someone if they don’t want to be helped…and I didn’t want to be.

I didn’t want to be helped because I truly believed that I loved him and that I was IN love with him. However, I realized two years later that his abuse had mentally trained me to believe that only he could make me happy, even though he had only made me mad.

This is for each and every girl that believes a man could never put his hands on her. If you’re reading my blog, then you know me as this super tough girl who doesn’t take any nonsense. I’m always ready to fight and I ALWAYS say what is on my mind despite possibly hurting someone’s feelings. I am this way though because of him…because of all the abuse he put me through therefore, I write this blog challenging everyone to speak their minds and never let another person put you down. And to those of you who are still stuck in an abusive relationship whether it be physical or mental, I hope you fight back to tell him that he no longer controls you.

~CityLimit$~

Truth and the City...The Musical

A few hours ago I was discussing with a friend the reasoning behind why I dislike Taylor Swift. I will share it with you for the purpose behind my next few posts. I, personally, am tired of hearing about every ex-boyfriend that Taylor Swift has. All of her songs revolve around how much she loved them or I guess, how crappy the relationship was. Considering she is young, and I have probably had more relationships, or encounters with intimacy than she has, I am slightly upset by the amount of money she is making off of her ex-boyfriends. I have decided that it is now my time to make some money off of my previous “lovers.” I have decided to begin this process by writing a series of entries about them. I will then ask everyone to suggest titles for these stories, and begin my songwriting process. Also, if you have a specific story of mine that you remember and liked oh so very much, I would like you to tell me, so I can not only post it on here, but consider it for my Musical which will be entitled Truth and the City.

~CityLimit$~

Ladies, Don't Do This!

Top Three Things Straight Men ABSOLUTELY HATE!

1) Purple Nurple- Apparently most men do not like for a woman to touch, lick, or even flick their nipples. Obviously men feel as though the idea of nipples is a female thing and do not believe that a man should, or even would, get the slightest amount of sensation in that area. Dear men, let me just tell you that you are missing out on some things. While not every woman is even going to attempt to tickle your nipple sensation, some are not only willing, but eager to do so. In fact, I blame the women who DO NOT do this for the reason behind men believing their nipples should not be touched. For those of you that don’t know anything about this, the male nipple is just as sensitive as the female. Those men, who have actually experienced CORRECT nipple play, have found that they enjoyed it very much. All I am saying is that you shouldn’t knock it until a woman does it the right way.

2) Tushy Touch- Now I can totally understand this one right here. Most men would probably smack a woman for engaging in anal play for many reasons. One being that they are completely uncomfortable with the idea of something touching near, or inside, the anal cavity. However, what I don’t like is that men will attribute this with being gay. Is it gay when a woman allows a man to enter inside of her anally? No, but because other men do this to each other and this is considered to be the way that gay men would have intercourse, straight men believe that a woman should not even consider touching them in this way. I have news for you though fellas, anal stimulation seems to be even more thrilling for men than some women. While I am not suggesting you let your woman ram you with her hidden strap-on, I am telling you that if she is into that type of thing maybe allow her a finger. (Especially if you’re trying to get into her no-no area.)

3) The Tip- This is hilarious and I completely agree with it. Men HATE it sooooo much when a woman says she will give him oral satisfaction, but only focuses at the tip. Now women, I know you have read that the tip is where feeling is most heightened. HOWEVER, oral sex for a man is not always just about the pleasure of the feeling on his tip. In fact it’s not always just about him getting off. Men would just have sex with you if that were the case. Oral sex is about damn near every sense in his body. He wants to feel you. He wants to smell your hair. He wants to watch what you do. He wants to hear the sounds you make. A man who says he doesn’t care about these things hasn’t had a woman give him the best BJ of his life. I say this because all of these things combined drives a man wild. It lets him know that you enjoy what you’re doing and want to make sure he enjoys the entire pleasure package. It also gives him the sense of being deep inside you, which is one of the things men think about the most. Don’t mess with his dreams!

These are the top three things I listed because I’ve heard several men mention these things over the years and then I heard the same opinions just a couple days ago. I completely agree with the third which is why I posted it last, but the other two are posted to give men some awareness of the fact that they might need to open up to some new options. You don’t have to try it, but DON’T knock it until you do.

~CityLimit$~

I refuse

Sometimes you just have to refuse...

~CityLimit$~