Something I have neglected to mention so far in my blogs is the idea of protection when being intimate with a person. I believe this is because nowadays, this is one of the last things many people are thinking about, especially teenagers. I don't believe it is necessarily something that people do not want to discuss. However, I do believe that for many people, it is much easier to avoid topics such as pregnancy and STD/STIs. This is because these things often make us uncomfortable no matter who we might be speaking to. In fact, one of the things I don't even remember discussing much with my family was the importance of protecting yourself. When I became sexually active I was very much informed of condoms and their use, and they were even provided for me in order to ensure that I would not be able to use the excuse of not having them readily available. However, with this comes the discussion of why these things are being provided to me and why I was taught about how to use them. I feel as though that was a discussion that was lacking in understanding from my family members. This occurs in many families because for one, parents don't want to believe their children will be active before marriage, two, parents don't want to believe their children could ever have an incident in which they might forget to use protection, and three, parents sometimes rely on those surrounding them to inform their children of these situations. Along with this comes shame and embarrassment. I believe that we should not be ashamed of the things that are part of our biology. As human beings we have a need for intimacy with others. I believe there is no shame in exploring this.
While exploring our sexuality, we must keep ourselves protected from those things that may harm us. We can do this through many different ways such as female condoms, latex and non-latex male condoms, dental dams and many other barrier methods. Along with this however, I think one of the most important things for us to do is, you guessed it, have regular testing for HIV. I do this every 6 months or whenever I am with a new partner. I believe that no matter what form of protection you are using, the most important thing to do is to get tested.
I wrote this because it seems like people nowadays are just going crazy everywhere. Everyone is having sex with everyone else and I always wonder just how protected these people are being. Yes it is only my business to worry about myself. However, I worry about finding a partner who could have possibly been with some of these people who might not have been as careful about their sexually exploration.
Some websites to check out of course
http://www.hivtest.org/
http://www.theaidsproject.com/
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
For women who want more information about HPV and their annual gynecological exams
http://www.gardasil.com/hpv/hpv-types/hpv-transmission/index.html?WT.mc_id=GL0ES&MTD=2
http://womenshealth.about.com/od/gynecologicalhealthissues/a/gyn101.htm
~CityLimits~
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Lovers and friends
At what point should a person stop in order to avoid crossing the line with their best friend?
My best friend and I (whose identity I will keep anonymous although most already know his name) have been friends for about thirteen years, eleven of those years I have spent (on and off of course) wondering if he would ever feel the same way about me that I have felt about him. Many of those years I have also spent sharing some of my “firsts” with him. In fact many of the things I have done and still do with him are things I would never even consider doing with any other man. I trust him and I feel safe and comfortable with him. Over the years these feelings have been slowly progressing. Over the past two years I began realizing that I was falling for him (and falling hard!). I friendship was already on the rocks. With the large amount of distance between us (me in PA and him in NJ), things had slowly been getting complicated. Whenever he would come in town I was looking forward to spending any amount of time with him. For him, this time always meant sex. Because I really cared about him, I continued to have sex with him whenever he wanted. I knew that my feelings were growing and finally decided to end it with him. I cut him out of my life COMPLETELY. And I never looked back. Recently I thought about him and decided to contact him. We began talking again but of course it immediately became about sex. I simply wanted him back in my life and knew that would be the easiest way, so I went along with it. As soon as it occurred, I realized those feelings were resurfacing. It was too late. I couldn’t just ignore them or tell him to leave me alone once again. I finally had the courage to tell him how I felt. I have to admit I have felt much better ever since I’ve done it. In fact, our friendship seems to be getting better, slowly but surely. I even decided to move back home and this seems to be making it as though our friendship will somewhat go back to the way it used to be.
Although our friendship seems to be working out now, I want to pose this question: Is it crazy to think that anything else could ever come from this 13 years friendlationship? Love is not something we can choose. We cannot force ourselves to love or not love a person. It is something that happens naturally. How many people are truly best friends with their life partner before beginning a relationship with them?
~CityLimits~
My best friend and I (whose identity I will keep anonymous although most already know his name) have been friends for about thirteen years, eleven of those years I have spent (on and off of course) wondering if he would ever feel the same way about me that I have felt about him. Many of those years I have also spent sharing some of my “firsts” with him. In fact many of the things I have done and still do with him are things I would never even consider doing with any other man. I trust him and I feel safe and comfortable with him. Over the years these feelings have been slowly progressing. Over the past two years I began realizing that I was falling for him (and falling hard!). I friendship was already on the rocks. With the large amount of distance between us (me in PA and him in NJ), things had slowly been getting complicated. Whenever he would come in town I was looking forward to spending any amount of time with him. For him, this time always meant sex. Because I really cared about him, I continued to have sex with him whenever he wanted. I knew that my feelings were growing and finally decided to end it with him. I cut him out of my life COMPLETELY. And I never looked back. Recently I thought about him and decided to contact him. We began talking again but of course it immediately became about sex. I simply wanted him back in my life and knew that would be the easiest way, so I went along with it. As soon as it occurred, I realized those feelings were resurfacing. It was too late. I couldn’t just ignore them or tell him to leave me alone once again. I finally had the courage to tell him how I felt. I have to admit I have felt much better ever since I’ve done it. In fact, our friendship seems to be getting better, slowly but surely. I even decided to move back home and this seems to be making it as though our friendship will somewhat go back to the way it used to be.
Although our friendship seems to be working out now, I want to pose this question: Is it crazy to think that anything else could ever come from this 13 years friendlationship? Love is not something we can choose. We cannot force ourselves to love or not love a person. It is something that happens naturally. How many people are truly best friends with their life partner before beginning a relationship with them?
~CityLimits~
T.M.I.
One thing that both men and women should realize when dating, is that sharing a bit of too much information can completely destroy any possibility of a further relationship with a person.
Case and point:
Two weeks ago, I was walking out of the doctor’s office feeling very crappy, when I saw a guy walking out of the apartment complex. I could tell from the moment I saw him that he would probably try to hit on me. I decided to step back and pretend to make a phone call while I waited for him to walk away. As I stood there I glanced over my glasses and saw him cross the street. He continued walking down the street, but not without glancing back at me and staring. I stayed exactly where I was and noticed him stop walking. He yelled out to me “Hey Shorty!” That was his first mistake. My name is not “shorty” and I do not respond to names other than my own. I, of course, did not respond and pretended not to hear him anyway. He came up to me like an idiot, and decided to proceed into conversation. The first thing out of his mouth was “My name is Jaquese.” That was strike number two. I told him my name anyway (because he looked quite sketchy) and pretended as if nothing was wrong. He asked me if I was taking class. I told him I had graduated. He asked my major and I responded. I then asked him what year he was in. He told me “Oh, I dropped out.” That was strike number three. I am not interested in someone who is not on my education level or even remotely near it. I then told him I needed to be on my way because I had errands to run downtown. “Oh, I’m going downtown too.” ‘What are you going downtown for?’ “I need to drop off money to my baby mama.” That was strike number four and I wondered why he was still talking to me. You’d probably assume the convo ended after that, however, he continued. I looked at his tattoos and commented on how interesting they were. He said “Oh yeah I have this one too,” and pointed at his right arm. “This one is fake though.” I asked why. His response was “My boy gave this to me while I was in prison.” Strike number five. Did I happen to mention he told me all of this within ten minutes of speaking?
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I mean by sharing way too much information. While I do believe that when trying to create a relationship with someone, you must be truthful and very open about the things in your past and present, I believe there should be some type of element of surprise. AND some things should just be kept private within the first few dates with someone new.
~CityLimits~
Case and point:
Two weeks ago, I was walking out of the doctor’s office feeling very crappy, when I saw a guy walking out of the apartment complex. I could tell from the moment I saw him that he would probably try to hit on me. I decided to step back and pretend to make a phone call while I waited for him to walk away. As I stood there I glanced over my glasses and saw him cross the street. He continued walking down the street, but not without glancing back at me and staring. I stayed exactly where I was and noticed him stop walking. He yelled out to me “Hey Shorty!” That was his first mistake. My name is not “shorty” and I do not respond to names other than my own. I, of course, did not respond and pretended not to hear him anyway. He came up to me like an idiot, and decided to proceed into conversation. The first thing out of his mouth was “My name is Jaquese.” That was strike number two. I told him my name anyway (because he looked quite sketchy) and pretended as if nothing was wrong. He asked me if I was taking class. I told him I had graduated. He asked my major and I responded. I then asked him what year he was in. He told me “Oh, I dropped out.” That was strike number three. I am not interested in someone who is not on my education level or even remotely near it. I then told him I needed to be on my way because I had errands to run downtown. “Oh, I’m going downtown too.” ‘What are you going downtown for?’ “I need to drop off money to my baby mama.” That was strike number four and I wondered why he was still talking to me. You’d probably assume the convo ended after that, however, he continued. I looked at his tattoos and commented on how interesting they were. He said “Oh yeah I have this one too,” and pointed at his right arm. “This one is fake though.” I asked why. His response was “My boy gave this to me while I was in prison.” Strike number five. Did I happen to mention he told me all of this within ten minutes of speaking?
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I mean by sharing way too much information. While I do believe that when trying to create a relationship with someone, you must be truthful and very open about the things in your past and present, I believe there should be some type of element of surprise. AND some things should just be kept private within the first few dates with someone new.
~CityLimits~
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Translate this if you will
This is a song by Monica Mancini-Senza Fine
Senza fine
Tu trascini la nostra vita
Senza un attimo di respiro
Per sognare
Per potere ricordare
Cio che abbiamo gia vissuto
Senza fine
Tu sei un attimo senza fine
Non hai ieri
Non hai domani
Tutto e ormai nelle tue mani
Mani grandi
Mani senza fine
Non m'importa della luna
Non m'importa delle stelle
Tu per me sei luna e stelle
Tu per me sei sole e cielo
Tu per me sei tutto quanto
Tutto quanto io voglio avere
Senza fine
La, la, la, la
Senza fine
I will add more info about the song in order to give proper "citation" lol so you guys know where to look it up because it is a great song and very addicting!
~CityLimits~
Senza fine
Tu trascini la nostra vita
Senza un attimo di respiro
Per sognare
Per potere ricordare
Cio che abbiamo gia vissuto
Senza fine
Tu sei un attimo senza fine
Non hai ieri
Non hai domani
Tutto e ormai nelle tue mani
Mani grandi
Mani senza fine
Non m'importa della luna
Non m'importa delle stelle
Tu per me sei luna e stelle
Tu per me sei sole e cielo
Tu per me sei tutto quanto
Tutto quanto io voglio avere
Senza fine
La, la, la, la
Senza fine
I will add more info about the song in order to give proper "citation" lol so you guys know where to look it up because it is a great song and very addicting!
~CityLimits~
Monday, May 31, 2010
Maintaining your (ahem) area
Most men look forward to intercourse with a woman who is very good at maintaining her pubic area, along with other things. Man of these men hope to engage in sexual activity with a freshly shaven vagina or one with the minimalist amount of air possible. This works out well because most women appreciate the assets of a clean area. Minimal hair allows for less sweat, less smell, and a region that’s easier to wash and keep up maintenance. Most of us keep less hair for these reasons along with the fact that we assume sexual escapades are more warranted when keeping a fresh smelling, manageable non-jungle atmosphere.
Although women are fairly keen on keeping up appearances in that general region, men on the other hand have slowly been losing all sense of how to keep their area clean. This should not be the case since they have two things that we do not have the displeasure of dealing with. For the sake of keeping this entry on somewhat of a classy level, we’ll call these two things by their correct term: testicles. Now men, the sack area is almost similar to areas of fat on the body. When cleaning this area you must lift the testicles and scrub underneath, as well as on top and closer to the penis/shaft area. If you fail to hit the under area of your anatomy with a bit of soap and water there tends to be an unpleasant smell that emits from the general area.
This is an epidemic! Gentlemen, do you know why I consider this to be an epidemic? Because those of you who refuse to keep up even the tiniest bit of maintenance are usually the first ones demanding a little “mouth-hug lovin’.” If you would like your woman, or any other woman to put their mouth, tongue, or any other part of their visage near your no-no area, you have to understand that the sight and smell of that area is going to hit us before we even try to taste it!
This being said, I would like to insert one last thing: I smell good, do you?
~CityLimits~
Although women are fairly keen on keeping up appearances in that general region, men on the other hand have slowly been losing all sense of how to keep their area clean. This should not be the case since they have two things that we do not have the displeasure of dealing with. For the sake of keeping this entry on somewhat of a classy level, we’ll call these two things by their correct term: testicles. Now men, the sack area is almost similar to areas of fat on the body. When cleaning this area you must lift the testicles and scrub underneath, as well as on top and closer to the penis/shaft area. If you fail to hit the under area of your anatomy with a bit of soap and water there tends to be an unpleasant smell that emits from the general area.
This is an epidemic! Gentlemen, do you know why I consider this to be an epidemic? Because those of you who refuse to keep up even the tiniest bit of maintenance are usually the first ones demanding a little “mouth-hug lovin’.” If you would like your woman, or any other woman to put their mouth, tongue, or any other part of their visage near your no-no area, you have to understand that the sight and smell of that area is going to hit us before we even try to taste it!
This being said, I would like to insert one last thing: I smell good, do you?
~CityLimits~
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Lies!
He asked me if we could 'chill'
I told him we would not be engaging in sexual activity or any kind.
He said that was ok and we should still chill.
I decided to test him a bit more to see if he had hopes of some kind of sexual activity.
I told him I would be hanging out at a friend's house and he was welcome to join me.
His response: "imma hit u up. im still washin clothes and shit"
I told him I no his lies and prefer honesty.
He said he simply had to wait for his clothes to be done.
That was at 9:26 PM.
I did not hear from him again until 12:32 AM when I decided to see what happened.
His excuse: I got called into work.
Now, that was either a lie OR you simply did not have the decency and respect to call and inform me of your plans to go to work. I don't know which one is worse. I do however know that I am no longer interested in the bullsh*t.
~CityLimits~
I told him we would not be engaging in sexual activity or any kind.
He said that was ok and we should still chill.
I decided to test him a bit more to see if he had hopes of some kind of sexual activity.
I told him I would be hanging out at a friend's house and he was welcome to join me.
His response: "imma hit u up. im still washin clothes and shit"
I told him I no his lies and prefer honesty.
He said he simply had to wait for his clothes to be done.
That was at 9:26 PM.
I did not hear from him again until 12:32 AM when I decided to see what happened.
His excuse: I got called into work.
Now, that was either a lie OR you simply did not have the decency and respect to call and inform me of your plans to go to work. I don't know which one is worse. I do however know that I am no longer interested in the bullsh*t.
~CityLimits~
Code Words and Phrases...text talk
Just some phrases that annoy me:
I was busy= I didn't feel like talking.
Can we 'chill'= I would like to stick my penis inside of you.
Oh, I forgot= you weren't important enough for me to bother responding.
Imma hit you up= I really don't feel like talking but I guess I have no choice.
Let me him you back later=.....days from now.
Are you on birth control= I do this with other girls too.
I 'luv' u= I don't really have feelings for you, but you put me on the spot.
~CityLimits~
I was busy= I didn't feel like talking.
Can we 'chill'= I would like to stick my penis inside of you.
Oh, I forgot= you weren't important enough for me to bother responding.
Imma hit you up= I really don't feel like talking but I guess I have no choice.
Let me him you back later=.....days from now.
Are you on birth control= I do this with other girls too.
I 'luv' u= I don't really have feelings for you, but you put me on the spot.
~CityLimits~
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